A sour journey to my Paneer Butter Masala !

While shopping for weekly groceries ( Never thought it would come to this day), I decided to be adventurous this saturday night and make a Paneer dish at last after trying dry sabzi's only for quite some time owing to my fear to use pressure cooker that it might blast itself to pieces, I really need to get over that. So I quickly had to check in recipe that whether it required pressure cooker. It did not and off we go. ! Of course if I would have been more vigilant, I would have learnt that dish required various pastes and purees which required arsenal that I could not comprehend with my modest kitchen capabilities.

So once I was about to start on it, I was missing a hand blender first of all and then cashew nuts and then cream. But somehow I was determined, undeterred that tonight this needed to be done. Enough with Aloo* sabzis, I had test my hand at this. Went to Walmart, out 24 hour open supercenter and got the food processor and cashews and cream for the dish. As I started working my way on puree, and it was time to blend the tomatoes, my new food processor betrayed (or I thought) and decided not to start. The exchange center generally closes early so I had to wait till morning to get it replaced. Yes, 30 day return/exchange policy on everything everywhere. Bizzare when I first came to know about this !

Sunday Noon, I decided not to give up and decided to dedicate this day to a successful dish, so I went back to walmart and exchanged that for a new one. But as a typical Indian, I decided to test that at walmart itself so that I do not have to get another round in if something does not work. I opened it up and decided to plug the base in one of the sockets and Woh ! it would not start as well. I took it to exchange lady again and she wanted to give it a try so she also tried her permutations and combinations, but to no effect and success. While waiting 5 minutes someone in the line suggested these things don't work if you do not fix the cover and plug in bowl correctly. I knew my foolishness then, asked that let me try this at home again and I will bring it back if it does not work. By the time, the exchange lady also had the motor started. I wrapped it all up.

That's something about me. Each day, I find new ways to embarrass myself. It just comes so naturally to me. Other day at the San Diego airport, I got in line to get a Muffin, there was a nice poster in front of glass where they were kept which said "Freshly Baked Muffins" and when it was my turn, the counter girl asked my what kind of Muffin I wanted, I replied Freshly basked ones and she gave me a look that said that "of course they are fresh by default you idiot".

Back home with new blender  (old one was also functional if I had read the manual, sometime applying just goes out of the window), I decided to make the pastes. Cashew paste took me 4 times to get right in the end. I added water and cashews together 3 times in different proportions and each time I got a soggy semi solid thing was no closer to paste. Finally got it right. Tried mixing it all up got a dish though a tinge of sourness in my final result. Maybe I added less sugar or added a little but more onions but edible in the end. And of course not to forget the colossal mess that I created in kitchen today. ! Of course had to clean it all up too !

   

San Diego !

Work taking places. ! And probably San Diego is prettiest of the lot. Loved it so far out here. Serene Beaches , Amazing sunsets. Each day after work at 7, I have been going to Torrey pines beach and standing on the beach witnessing scintillating views offered by sunsets on the beach. Flowing Wind , Gushing waves and a retreating Sun. Enough to take away a day’s tiredness. People have no job taking 9-5’s each day in this place. Qualcomm have probably played a masterstroke in retaining employees. The place has so much to offer that people won’t feel like leaving. The only place in US (of little that I have been to) where you I have felt European touch is probably in La Jolla coves, the artistic arches for the old buildings giving a renaissance type aspect to the place.

Did some sightseeing as usual and went some places. It’s such a great destination with so many touristy places , theme parks etc. Missed on sea world with whale watching, but maybe for next time. I want to get out of work early on Friday if possible and want to visit the Midway carrier if possible. It’s just a history thing with how jets actually can get launched from such a short take off length.

Definitely want to visit again at a future point of time, but not alone ! 

Finally !

It took me 7 weeks. 7 full weeks to finally sit down and write. It's been some crazy times and hard too. A change of place, a change of culture, a change of lifestyle. lifestyle is the one killing me. "Roti , Kapda aur Makaan" Nah, just exaggerating but very close to not too.  April 14th, I made a move to US to take up a position with Mentor in Austin and it has been "this or that" on both sides of the date ever since.

Of all my previous sojourns in past 3 years (can happily say about the company paid world tour accumulating to 1 year or so), I have always looked from the other side. Posh hotels, rental cars, Taxis , arrays of restaurants on offer to eat and experience the culture of the cities and above all everything expensed. Lifestyle is a different matter.

Since the relocation, it took me 3 weekends at Ikea(a place everyone recommends for newbies like me) to collect all the "furniture". When I say furniture, I am actually referring to cardboard boxes who come with components of different shapes and a manual that if you do everything right might ultimately look like something that you looked at at the store. No free deliveries and no free assemblies. One might thing, that what a laze ass I am that can't I get this much done, but thought process arises from those "carpenter dihadis" where you can pay someone some money in India and get all things done. Ultimately, I did it myself with a lot help from Aditya and Naveen, my colleagues and friends.

Though I had been to Austin before, I had not actually been to South Austin, where I have taken up place. So initially, it was all hunky dory with new restaurants to explore, new cuisines to savor but soon the realization started creeping in, that its not going to be expensed, so its a fine time to pull out those utencils and crockery that you paid extra dollars to the airlines for all those extra baggage pounds. Pulling them out and placing them in the cabinets is one thing but what to do with them is completely another. Again, my though process comes from the cooks which were so freely available before that you never had to do even go and buy some haldi or sabzi. As appalling and shameful as it may sound, I could not even bake eggs properly. Here thanks to my dear mom and my dearest friend Suruchi a.k.a tillz to help compile a list of all the list complete buffoons and amateurs like to me need to get started. Being in California, Tillz helped a lot with all those recipes and step and step by process to make aloo pyaaz for a start. But the aloos remained hard till the very end. I took them for lunch hoping that another microwave round might soften them up. My admin came near microwave at the wrong moment that day when I was heating them up, so I had to offer here some as courtesy. She looked at them and said that "her husband and me had been conspiring to kill her" of course jokingly but they did not taste as bad as they looked.

Its been a few weeks but I am getting there. Now I can make Baingan Bharata, Aloo Gobhi, Aloo Pyaaz that are edible to some degree and I have been experimenting out of my laziness to finish the last night dinner without making anything else with maggi + baingan bharata, nachos + aloo gobhi. I am pathetic.

But the apartment is almost set, I am still looking for a Sofa that I do not have to assemble. But I am getting there. Slowly slotting into a daily schedule to cook,eat,work. I won't go to cleaning and washing as you already know where I am going to get at, but they also arrive with bandwagons once every weeks :) . This all is not going away so lazies like me who are not good at anything also have to fall in line. Do get my started on closets. They do not have almirahs. !

All has not been that bad too, but I will keep that for another day !

The Winds of Winter

Considering that the winds of winter have started hitting again here quite ferociously at this time of the year in north India,  there is still no sign of winds of winter, that we have been waiting for, in the near future. Listening George RR Martin ! 

It would be 3 years since dance with dragons' release in March 2014. If we look at the rate of books coming out and pace of game of thrones series, it looks more probable that they will converge beyond a point where game of thrones is already done with 8 seasons. 

Surely we want to find the 3 heads of the dragon and go beyond the north. With the feast of crows having POV from the most uninteresting characters and dragging the story at lethargic pace, the Dance with.. brought the depth that the whole series has been known for, despite being a very long but satisfying read. The morality of Jon Stark, the at times considerate and at times ferocious nature of Tyrion to find his place and continue to survive are my most favorite arcs in the whole series. 

Undoubtedly, It's still the best fantasy series that I have come across with the series offering no clear antagonist even after 5 books, there is still so much to look forward to. The depth , the theories, the characters all contributing to an intriguing and a fascinating read. Wish the book comes a little soon ! 

Logic and Doubts !

Logic :

Recently, visiting one of my semiconductor design customers in Bangalore, I came across something funny in a form of a pamphlet that could be directly co-related to what the company actually does. One of the employees was keen enough to make the correction to the logic to add preciseness to the instruction being given out by the pamphlet, considering that "and" in the statement does not cover all the cases of having a clean toaster.

Being an electronics engineer and having to deal with the and/or logic gates, which in fact in retrospect are my bread and butter, rather jam in this case, I could so easily relate to the statement and went smiling at my desk after seeing this.

Doubts :

While flying outbound from Delhi, in the check-in queue at the airport, a fellow lady traveller came and asked me what she should be doing next post her boarding pass collection. I had seen her having similar conversation with other people as well before she approached me with the query and I was not the last one. Considering she might have been given a wrong advise at some point of time, this time she just wanted to be sure if she was doing the right thing, but how many times do you need to convince somebody before the doubt can go away.

Life is never perfect, everybody makes mistakes, each person is able instigate a series of doubts in the other person by his actions. But can counter actions remove the doubts, and what is people are too arrogant to change the and logic with "doubts && atonement" in their mindset which would always be a failure (a logic 0 in digital electronics with doubts clouding the logic), to "doubts or atonement" which just might be a success (a logic 1) if atonement is good enough.

Consideration is important in life. Being considerate towards others makes us a better person. Giving second chances sometimes is important in life. We are not perfect by any stretch of imagination. We can spend a lifetime living in doubts. Get the closure or consider the other's person atonement. Maybe and just maybe the doubt might be dispelled ! good people do realize their mistakes at some point, but they are not immune to making them. 

A Tribute

Hi Papa ,

I am sorry. It’s been a year. Despite the fact that I have written about so many things, somehow I just could not bring myself to write about you or anything. I tried it many times, but my thoughts about you always got the better off me. But I had to write. 

It’s been on my mind since quite some time now. This is not a eulogy, it’s rather a tribute to the person that has loved me more than anything, someone who lived the life the way it should be, with love, compassion, a free spirit and an open minded outlook that is just so hard to find.  We talk about you when I am home, but we still can’t talk about you at length. It always stops at : “if you would have been here … ….”  I know you would not like that. We keep on having glances at your photo frame on the wall, shedding a tear without anybody noticing it. We were all there on there on the 16^th, the way you always wanted us to be, together.

A larger than life attitude with a charm that always meant you had your way with things, fierce love for your family, immense faith in god and plethora of interests that varied from cars, books, traveling, sports, writing, cinema defined your life. Born to a liberal 1^st class government officer and being a single child to an extremely liberal father, I can see how you had an environment, time and upbringing to help inculcate passion in such varied arenas.  The enfield incident never skips my mind, the bike you possessed and were so in love with, when Bade Papa sold it behind your back while you were away and replaced with a scooter because he thought it was too dangerous for you. And you were all ballistic at your parents for that.  

Recently I cleared my doubts about your marriage from Mom. I knew you were in GNDU together, but I always wanted to confirm if you guys had a love marriage, just couldn’t do so being so shy myself.  She of course said that how can I be so foolish not to know, after all arranged Hindu-Sikh intercaste marriages were pretty uncommon 30 years back and she herself was surprised when your father did not once object to a prospect of having a hindu daughter in law. She relished the little time that she had to spend with him but Bade Papa had a great influence on her. She adores you both for the freedom she got a express herself, pursue her career. She was joking, despite the fact that you had a liberal paternal side , don’t expect me to be that liberal. She is keeping herself busy very well, her job, meditation, spirituality had made here quite strong to move on in life. She’s driving your car now, but she has somehow managed to keep it very well.

Mahajan uncle and Sudha Aunty miss you a lot, they keep visiting, discussing  the college days you all shared together, how you went to Kapurthala and sat outside Sudha aunty’s home when her parents to objecting to her marriage to Mahajan Uncle and you guys did not bulge till they agreed to reconsider. His mind sometimes drifts on the scooter that you had in college and how you all the college shared it for that errands. He always comments “Sonu, he did not refuse anyone”.  Compassion was something that came to you very naturally. Watching tennis together on television, you would always discuss that match that Pete Sampras played against Jim Courier, when Pete’s coach had s stroke during the tournament. How Sampras cried during the match and Jim Courier, his best friend, urged him to play for his coach. You always took that example and asked us to be great at what you do, but never to lose your human touch.

I miss your 2 calls per day, that no matter what, we always had despite the distances.  How you used to tell me how you roamed on scooters throughout himachal, only letting know your status through telegram whenever possible when you were in college and never letting us be outside home after 8. You would happily recount your expeditions of 4 guys and 2 scooters, treks but warning me that roads are not what they were back then, so don’t attempt anything of the sort. Your love for engineering, canals , dams. How you would take me to hydroelectric power stations/thermal stations to show me the wonders of science. Bhakra Dam was your favorite place, your indepth knowledge of how it was built, it my favorite place as well. How we never missed going to Bhakra when we went to Anandpur Sahib, Naina Devi and to Nangal. You had an amazing knack for finding new roads. Always keeping a roadmap in the car, exploring new ways to cut down on the traveltime.  Once when you took me to Pong Dam for the first time, you explained the whole way, what an earthen dams is , spill ways, penstocks and then you turned the car around to head to your meetings in Ropar and I saw the sign which said Dalhousie this way. I insisted we go there, you resisted. I made a face, you tried to console. After driving for 5 minutes, you turned the car around and we went for a night in Dalhousie, I still have the pahari jacket that we had to buy as were in our half sleeves there.

Your passion of cars and driving. An Avid reader of every autocar magazine, that’s what I inherited from you. How you did not miss a single AutoExpo ever. How proud you were when you saw the Nano for the first time, how revered you were when you talked about Ratan Tata. Your know-how of engine technology, your love for Mercedes. You always said “Asi Ral mil ke Mercedes zaroor lawange ek din”. Sure Dad, we will. When I was making a decision to buy a car, you always talked about VFM, Value for money.

Your love for brightness in life,  I remember getting a 3000 Rs cash prize from school in 2001 and me bringing a Grey Shade Polo neck for you. You said its good, you went with me to the shop anyways and exchanged the same for  an orange one. You never had a dull moment, you never wanted one either, always booming with confidence. You loved buying stuff, for each one of us, especially for mom. You travelled for upto 20 days sometimes on your business trips but it was never a case you did not bring something for her. Suits, Sarees, Handbags, Sandals. How, when you stretched your hand from thumb to the little finger, you knew that was the size of mom’ foot, while buying sandals with a choice so impeccable, people complimented her so much on the colors she wore. Mom did not have to buy a single thing all her life, she still does not, there are still bundles that she has not touched. I do get her handbags though, she says I have inherited this much from you atl east. I don’t if she just says that to keep my heart.

Your immense faith in one true god. How Anandpur Sahib was your favorite place in the world. How you adored Guru Gobind Singh for the leader and warrior he was, hence your love for the place. You always said, the vibrations that you felt in Tirupathi were the same that you felt in Golden Temple and Anandpur Sahib. You did not deviate, you maintained your faith till the end. How you touched your father’s photograph when you came home after your regular trips, we do the same now.

Mom was telling me that Bade Papa wrote you some letters when you were growing up and he had to be in Denmark for his engineering course. The letters like JawaharLal Nehru had written to Indira, encompassing how to lead a life, how to achieve your goals, how to be in life. Mom said that she would find them and keep them for me to read next time I am at home. How you kept a photograph and newspaper cutting of him when he passed away , in your briefcase always. You used to tell me how Bade Papa would not let you guys hold me when I was just born, telling you guys you did not know how to hold a child.  

Your love was cinema was unparalleled, how you would collect cassette of movies that you loved. I inherited your love for Lamhe, how you adored the movie for sentiments that it showed. On one of your business trips, you saw Terminator in a theater in Bombay and you brought a cassette home to make us watch it, It was my first Hollywood movie.  You loved your books, reading for your first love, you exercised it when you were travelling very often on your business trips. Big fan of Wilbur Smith and John Grisham, You would always kept your collection up to date. It would very often happen that someone would come and borrow a book never to return and despite asking for it back, you would always buy a new copy. You gave me my first novel , the client by John Grisham when I was 14. You asked me to start it off with this. You did not like when I told you I was reading Ayn Rand during my college, you asked me to read it later in your life, I never asked you why you asked me to do that. Your almirah and shelf are still the same way, full of books you possessed.

The last trip that we had together, I had come home for a weekend and you mom and me went out to the market for some general household stuff. It was 1PM and on our way back, you said why do we not head to ChintPurni, its not that we get to be together each day. Mom protested telling that its already too late, but you ignored her. You asked me if I wanted to go, always knowing that I would never refuse and we just headed on the road. You never let me drive when you were in a car. The first time you saw my driving was when we landed on Amritsar airport from Raipur and mom came to pick us up. You just had your first cardiac arrest in Raipur. It was the first time we were not home for a new year and the last we were together on one.

You always were strong willed, your heart had left you very weak. You wanted to go for a Bypass surgery but the doctors never gave their yes, saying it was too dangerous. You would try convincing me that you needed to do that, that the half life that you were living was not how you had lived for a single second previously in your life  that you could not go on living like this. You wanted to get better or go away trying. When it happened, I thank god that you were in Amritsar close to person you loved the most. Mom was telling me later that when she was trying to calm you that we were going to soon shift you to Escorts as soon things were stabilized, you told her “ Bas Neelam koi lod nahin,” , gave her your spectacles, “Meri Aenkaan sambhal le”. Those were your final words.

You were the smile of our lives. If I say we miss you, that would be a big understatement. But I also know that you would not like to be remembered in this way. You spread joy and you would like to be remembered in a happy state of things. You would want your memories to make us stronger and righteous. You led a life that were very much on your terms, a life that I see very few people living. I have had seen my friend’s parents and I was very surprised when I compared them with yours. As your friends, still say, he lived a King’s size life and nothing can take that away from him.

I have so much to say, I can keep on writing. Despite you are not with us, but you are still part of our lives, our thoughts, our actions, our decisions. We have preserved everything you possessed, your clothes, shoes, turbans, books, and spectacles. The only thing missing is you.

Regards

Your loving Son 

Soothers !

Apart from the junk ads that I have recently seen , I am particularly intrigued by one aired for Emirates on TV. Its nothing fancy, but a very holistic representation how different lives are connected each other's , but the best part about is the music. Its just so light and warm , that you feel moved by the harmonious notes. Its a track "Trek" by Antfoot, specially edited for Emirated ad. There is an amazing stillness about the track, representing and inculcating the calm that is inside us , that we are trying to achieve.

And, its not about this piece only, its about the music on the whole. Its such an essential part of our life, right from celebrations, ranging from matrimonies to the silly bugle in the IPL matches ( after hearing which people go berserk , to the solitude. No wonder, Apple has grown on selling ipod's , by bringing the music we can relate to most easily in a convenient form. I still remember when 99% of people putting "listening music" as one of the hobbies on the resumes. I just found my soother for the week, its time you found yours.